Dignity, does not have a price tag
I would like to make sure that all my readers understand that my articles are designed to help women understand the male point of view. My main objective is to help you understand why it is that your mate acts as he does, so that the two of you will be able develop a lasting and loving relationship.
In no way are you to try and conform to the mental processes that my articles discuss. My intention is to help you with inside information to enable you to bring about the necessary changes in both you and your partner.
I have never considered myself as an advocate for woman's rights. I have received much E-mail from women who are in abusive relationships. The problem is that abuse can be mental, as well as physical. Because there it is no physical abuse, many people do not realize they may be in an abusive relationship.
Abuse comes in many forms. Although it is true that if a person is being physically abused, the chances are that they are being mentally and/or emotionally abused as well. But you do not have to be physically abused to be mentally and/or emotionally abused.
I feel this is an important subject, but I personally do not feel that I am authority on the subject. If you feel this article help you understand the relationship your in
Please seek professional help there are many websites you can look in to.
May light and love shine on your path, and know that there is always an open door to those in need
Speaking out Against Partner Abuse
Women being abused by their husbands, or other intimate partner, is a problem that must be dealt with on a global scale. Partner to partner violence transcends all social, economic and religious groups. It is a fact that women can also be violent. Abuse also exists in some same-sex relationships. The vast majority of partner abuse though, is by men against their female partners.
The recognition of partner abuse is only now becoming a growing concern within our community. It often shows signs of controlling behavior, such as one partner monitoring the other's movements, and/or isolating the other from family and friends.
The obvious signs of partner abuse can takes form of physical assault such as slaps, punches and beatings. It is important to understand that there is also psychological abuse that takes the form of intimidation, humiliation, and coercive sex.
Although domestic violence occurs in all socio-economic groups, it is considered women in the low income bracket that are more likely to experience violence than women of a higher income. It is felt that it is because that men, living in poverty are more likely to generate stress, frustration, and a sense of inadequacy for having failed to live up to the defined role of provider. Financial difficulties may also spark marital disagreements and at the same time make it difficult for women to leave violent or otherwise unsatisfactory relationships.
Low socio-economic status probably reflects a variety of conditions that, in combination, increase women's risk of victimization. The broad approach to abuse argues that that no one factor alone "causes" violence, but rather a combination of instances may cause a man to may act violently toward a woman. Another factor could be if the man either witnessed abuse as a child or was abused himself as a child- could this determine the likelihood of being an abuser himself? I personally feel that the more risk factors present, the higher the likelihood of violence.
Other factors of the social environment combine to protect some women yet bring out the insecurity in men, causing them to reclaim man's inherent superiority over women. For example, where the family is considered "private" and outside public scrutiny. or when the woman tries to gain authority and power outside the family, rates of wife abuse are higher. However, prompt intervention by friends and family members can often reduce the likelihood of domestic violence.
A good support group that helps to immediately rebuild the self respect and confidence of the women and children is necessary in order to begin to heal both mental and physical wounds. I was not as aware of this until a few of my classmates read my first article. Slowly, they began to open up to me in ways I did not expect. The women and men in my class told me of their ordeals- of how they witnessed first hand the abusive actions of their father, or of their mother's boyfriend or of the actions of their mother trying to protect them. I could see in their eyes that the pain was so deeply embedded that even now they speak of it, huddled with fervent glances and a child-like voice. One such person, I spoke with is a young man who is a boxing champion. He was proudly displaying the newspaper declaring his victory, the next moment looking off to the side, not wanting to show his momentary relapse of weakness.
May light and love shine on your path, and know that there is always an open door to those in need.
Self Empowerment begins with you
Advertising Space - After your Hub is published advertisements may be placed in this space. Please note, it can take some time after you publish for the ads to match the content of your Hub.Interesting facts collected from interviews of rapists and date rapists in prison on what they look for. The main things that men look for in a potential victim is their hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, braid, or other type of hairstyle that can be easily grabbed. Women with short hair are not as common of a target as woman with long hair. The second thing men look for is clothing. They often look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly and easily. The easiest outfit they look for is overalls. Many of them carry scissors to cut clothing and overall straps.
An easy target is a woman on her cellphone, searching through her handbag, or doing some type of distracting activity while walking. It is because the woman is caught that off guard that she is easily overpowered.
The times of day men are most likely to attack and rape a woman is in the early morning, between 5:00 & 8:00 a.m.
place women are abducted from and or attacked is the grocery store parking lot, office parking lots or garages and public rest rooms.
The main thing to understand is that these men are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where there is less danger of getting caught.
It is reported that less that 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence while rape with a weapon is 15-20 years. It only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you is not worth it because it will be time-consuming. It is for this reason that if you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged. As dangerous as this sounds this may help make the difference for survival. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon, where as they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. The idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it. Several defense mechanisms are:
If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell "Stop!" or "Stay back!" Most of the rapists talked to say they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be an EASY target. Pepper spray can be a huge deterrent but I advise you to take lessons in the art of self defense first.
If you feel that someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage look him in the face and ask him a question, like what time is it. Now that you've seen his face you could identify him in a lineup, you may possibly lose your appeal as a target. Be aware if someone or a group of men are entering an elevator or stairwell with you in and make general small talk. "I can't believe it is so cold out here; we're in for a bad winter."
If someone grabs you, you may not be able to beat him with strength but you can try outsmarting him. If he grabs your wrist, pull your wrist back so your hand is in waving position (palm facing forward) and twist it toward yourself and pull your arm away. It is harder to hold onto wrist bones that are moving in this way. By catching him off guard will stumble toward you and you stumble back, you will be able to use the momentum to bring the same hand out and backhand him with your knuckles in the forehead, nose or teeth.
After the initial hit, always go for the groin. Do not be afraid that you may anger the him and make him want to hurt you more, rapists do not want a woman who will cause a lot of trouble.
If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and armpit or in the upper inner thigh. If you feel that this may not be effective try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it.
If a man puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. You can do this without using much pressure.
Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss anything always go with your instincts. You may feel a little silly at the time but you'd feel much worse if the guy was really trouble.
Better to be safe than sorry!! Never get in the car with him, if he wants to rob you, throw the money or keys so he has to go get it, then run and yell "Fire." It's more effective than "Help." Chances are that will be your last ride.
Never help a person with a van trying to load it himself and having trouble (with possibly a fake broken arm or leg), that's how Ted Bundy got 60 of his victims...in mall or grocery store parking lots. I realize that this all seems like simple information but keep in mind that could save your life or the life of a loved one.
